Today is St. Valentine’s Day. St. Valentine’s Day is an elephant. There are varied accounts of its origin and how people view the day. Many people see it as a day of romance and love. But what is romance and what is love? The definitions and views are divergent. That is partly why I said St. Valentine’s Day is an elephant. An elephant is big. If blind people who have never seen an elephant were made to feel an elephant and describe it, the descriptions will be divergent. I am like one of those blind people who felt an elephant. What I am going to describe is my perception of St. Valentines Day which might be different from yours.
Like many people, I see St. Valentine’s Day as a day of romance and love. One definition of romance says it is “a feeling of being in love.” This definition seems restricted to married couples and people who are courting (“courtship a relationship between a man and a woman in which they seek to determine if it is God’s will for them to marry each other”). But it is suitable for this column.
Romance can be manifested in actions like frequent communication and having dinners together, with or sans candle lights. The dinners can take place in fancy restaurants, bukas or at home. Here, money talks and has its say, but joyful hearts have their way. There is nothing wrong in flying to Paris for your Valentine’s Day, if you have the means. But whether in Paris or in your home, let love and joy fill the air. For me, that is what matters. A joyful heart is what counts for me.
Flowers and cakes are romantic items on Valentine’s Day. But I also believe they convey love in a broad sense. They are not meant for your spouse only. You can give flowers and cakes to anyone you really care about, provided your intentions are genuine and not misunderstood by the receiver. Personally, I have never been a flower person. The only flowers I have given to a woman all of my life is the bouquet of flowers I bought for my wife which she held on our wedding day. But I have no problems with those who buy flowers for their spouses or fiancées during celebrations. Before now I saw flowers as a waste of money; here today, gone tomorrow. I do cakes. My wife loves cakes. My children also love cakes and usually take the chunk. I eat very little cake and during celebrations only.
But as I was writing this article, I took a break to watch a funeral online. As wreaths were being laid on the casket, I said to myself. If people are laying wreaths on the caskets of departed loved ones, why can’t I buy my wife flowers on Valentine’s Day, our wedding anniversary and her birthday. My only fear is the saying that “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” But I consoled myself that “you are not a dog, nah.” But how am I going to learn this romantic gesture? It looks so foreign. Then I tried to imagine my wife’s countenance the day I present her a bouquet of flowers. My wife who said I am not romantic. We shall see.
You know what? There is this belief among some people that Urhobo men, especially traditional Urhobo men like me, are not romantic. I don’t believe in stereotypes. Stereotyping is “hate speech,” offensive and discriminatory. But I can speak for myself. Honestly, agree with my wife. I don’t believe I am romantic. So, let me stop dwelling on romance before people reading the article will say, “teacher, don’t teach me nonsense.”
Today is Valentine’s Day. Beyond romance, there is love which is the greatest gift of all. So, let me switch to love. Love is also a, massive elephant. I am going to describe the parts of the elephant I have felt. To start with God is love. His love for us is endless. In addition, the two greatest commandments are built on love: love for God and love for our fellow human beings. God has been very loving to me. There’s no way I can reciprocate. So, let me simply say happy St. Valentine’s Day, God.
While I agree with my wife that I am not romantic, she knows I love and care for her. I will spend the whole day with her. We have always been together on Valentine’s Day. I am not the kind of husband who disappears on Valentine’s Day. The details of how we’ll spend the day is our business. Happy Valentine’s Day, my Peacock.
I always call my mother and mother-in-law to wish them Happy Valentine’s Day. But for distance it would have been wonderful to spend part of the day with them. Both of them are widows. Anyway, Happy Valentine’s Day to my mother, Mama Powder Ewherido. Happy Valentine’s Day to my mother-in-law, Mrs Beatrice Umode. Happy Valentine’s Day to my children. I love you guys. Happy Valentine’s Day to my wonderful siblings. You are the best. Happy Valentine’s Day to my nieces and nephews (Generation Three Ewheridos). Happy Valentine’s Day to my relatives, in-laws, friends, well-wishers, readers and followers of this column, and all those who have no one to wish you “happy Valentine’s Day. We are all wonderful children of God. God is love; today is His day. Happy Valentine’s Day to us all.
At Christmas, New Year, Easter and Muslim festivals some people go to orphanages and old people’s homes and spend time with them. They take along food and other items. The bottom-line is that they are spreading love. It’s not common with Valentine’s Day, but in case you are sharing love today with these people, God bless you.
There’s a group of people I want to specially address today: separated couples. There is a particular case that makes my heart bleed. What is this transgression that cannot be forgiven? Meanwhile, you pray to God everyday to forgive you your sins. Please spend time meditating on the Lord’s Prayer Jesus taught us. The gulf might be wide, so I am not saying you should spend this Valentine’s Day together. So much water has passed under the bridge. Maybe, more healing needs to take place. But what about a simple Happy Valentine’s Day message today. It’s free if you send it via WhatsApp. Before I move on, those couples living under one roof, but beefing each other. Today should be a Day of Reconciliation.
Some people were born today. Some of them bear Valentine, while others bear other names. Happy Valentine’s Day and happy birthday to you all. I would have loved to know some people who were born today, but I only know one person. I wanted to know whether people born on February 14 are romantic or unromantic.
Anyway, happy birthday and many happy returns, Mr. Mideno Bayagbon, former editor of Time.i.ngpaper. I have known Mr. Bayagbon for 42 years, but if you want to know whether he is a romantic or an unromantic Urhobo man, ask his wife. I know, but my lips are sealed.
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